The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
