When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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