I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
