Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
