check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
