Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
