Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
