I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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