I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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