oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need a burrito and a hug.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
