Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
