Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
