More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
