They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
