i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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