You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
