She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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