: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
