She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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