her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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