why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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