Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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