I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
