she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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