Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
