i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
