I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
