So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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