Plan B is the new Plan A
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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