I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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