No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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