plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
ok first of all what the fuck
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