Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
