it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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