Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
