I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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