What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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