how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
