Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
