either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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