I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
