would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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