I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
