So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
