she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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