Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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