you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize