Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
