There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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