Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
