I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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