so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
