Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
