Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
