D3 body, D1 cock
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
