I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
