im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
