What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
