i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
